“Patience is a virtue” .. the phrase I tell myself several times a day. I am a very high energy person, and somewhat a perfectionist, which causes me to sometimes be controlling over things or get anxiety because things in my life aren’t done quickly. It also causes HUGE DOUBTS! I think, “If I am not getting the outcome that I want, when I want it, then I must be doing something wrong.”… WRONG THOUGHTS! Let’s talk more about the balance between impatience and patience.
Why it’s great to be impatient
To get -ISH DONE! It’s proven that people with a sense of urgency will get more things done, be more effective and always be thinking of ways to do things more efficiently to get even MORE done. It also allows you to be more successful in life because you are looking for results quicker, so you are trying everything in your power to achievement, quicker. Ed Mylett talks about time management and impatience in his Podcast episode “The Secret on How I get 21 days a week”.
Why you still need to learn patience
There is a learning theory by Ken Blanchard called “Situational Leadership Model”. This model teaches that there are 4 development levels that every person goes through when learning something new. Level 1 is someone with high commitment and low competence. Meaning, when you are really excited (highly committed) to take on a new task, hobby or skill but you don’t know how to do it because you have never done it before (low competence). Level 2 is when this really excited person realizes that the task is a lot harder than they thought, so their commitment level (motivation/confidence) on this task goes WAY down and decide they want to quit. They still don’t know how to do the task (low competence) and are deflated. THIS is the phase where my impatience starts to kick in. THIS is the time when I start telling myself that I am doing something wrong, that I suck, that I want to quit because this new thing is so hard. BUT I forget that I haven’t allowed myself to get to the final development level. It is key to remember that with every new thing, there will be a dip in your confidence and competence, it is NORMAL. So, if you push through and really try to master the skill, you will end up at development level 3. This is when you finally CAN do the task, but you are lacking the commitment. Maybe you can finally swim laps in a pool, but you need that extra reassurance and confident booster from others to tell you that you are doing a great job so you have the confidence to continue to work on perfecting your technique. FINALLY, after much practice and hard-earned work, you get to level 4. You become the pro that you thought you were supposed to be so long ago when you were pushing yourself so hard and doubting yourself. You can actually do the task alone, and are confident in it.. You are a BADA$$!
The amount of patience needed to get to the final mastery level is so high that most of us aren’t willing to wait that long, so we give up on ourselves or become anxious instead of continuing to work at what we want. Gary Vee is the #1 preacher about how patience is key to the success of anything that you do and he is SO right. Why? Because you have a whole learning cycle to go through EVERY TIME you try a new task, goal or hobby. Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT saying to procrastinate because things take time. I am saying that you should put in the work over a period of time, but also know that the results will take consistent, conscious action towards your goal and with time, and lots of patience, you will achieve your desired outcome.
And the most important reason to be patient, is because you love yourself. As the bible reads in 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient. Love is kind..” Regardless of your faith, the definition of love includes patience. Primarily in this case, love for YOURSELF should be a priority. Giving yourself grace for going through the steps and going through the process of becoming a better version of yourself requires love and patience… so do yourself a favor and CHILL on the crazy deadlines that you put on yourself!
Hard work + consistency + self-love + patience = formula for success