Have you ever found yourself in the middle of the situation and feeling that you are just “too” __ (insert your word) for that situation? I constantly do. In talking to other friends, it seems like we all go through this negative self talk that we are too much or too little of something for the opportunity that life gives us. I will explain more in the following examples:
Over the past 6 years I have battled different thoughts in my mind about how I am “too young” to be doing something. I was too young to be a manager and handle large responsibilities in my career, or advising others that were older than me, or talking in front of others that were several years my senior. All of these things that I associated with responsibilities or actions that were people “at least 30 years old”. But what is the reality? The truth is that I got these opportunities and chances that made me incredibly UNCOMFORTABLE to grow. And as much as I didn’t want to accept it – these opportunities weren’t just randomly given or presented, they were earned because someone saw something in me – the real me, not the one I was thinking I was supposed to be – that forced me to stand up to the plate and to the new responsibilities. So no, I am/was not too young, I AM a hard worker that is at the right place in her life for that new challenge.
Thinking way back -this also happened to me back in high school. I was the girl who was “cool” – I was on the dance team, cheer, but also almost a straight A student, taking AP classes and getting into UC Berkeley. In high school terms – I had to be ditzy to be a cheerleader and super quiet to be a smart girl. I was definitely “too outgoing” to be smart and “too much of a bookworm” to be a cheerleader/dancer. Writing it on paper is almost comical, but it’s so true. I didn’t know how I should have been to appear to be the right person, but the truth was that I was, and AM, a unique blend of both. However, being worried about being “too” much of one stereotype rather than the other caused some real mix of emotions for me. Not until I realized that I was supposed to be me – a silly, outgoing, nerdy, studious girl – was I able to realize that I AM who I am and that is exactly why I am unique.
And of course – the famous – I am “too flabby” to wear that cute dress and cute bikini. Because – body shaming is a real thing, right? It still continues to be an issue for me. One that I am working on actively. But the reality is, I work my hard on my body but I also like to have fun with it. I love to have a couple drinks, dance, complete several races per year, eat healthy but some pizza and chips are also in the mix.. So yea, I do have some flab. But I also enjoy every moment with it so I am not “too flabby” for that outfit, I AM a strong woman who enjoys balance in her life and that is reflected in my cute dress.
My point is.. SO MANY TIMES we end up telling ourselves, or at least I do, that I am just “too” something that I cannot enjoy the moment that I am living because I get so caught up on how I should be showing up in a certain situation, rather than just BEING. You just ARE who you are because you are supposed to be a unique human. You are supposed to experience hard things that make you uncomfortable to shape you. You aren’t “too” anything for a situation. You are a badass that can take on a challenge and are ready for it. It was meant for you. Instead of thinking about how you are “too” something for a situton, what if you change your mindset and say “I am”. “I am at the right point in my life for this challenge’, “I am a fun smart girl”, “I am grateful for the experiences I get to have in my body so I should show it off in a way that makes me happy”. These thoughts of being “too” will continue, but it is my (and your) job to change my mindset to appreciate what “I am”. And for sure.. “I am awesome”!